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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23672596">silence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Edenss/pseuds/Edenss'>Edenss</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood and Injury, F/M, Identity Reveal, Implied/Referenced Torture, Ladybug is tired, Self-Hatred, Sleep Deprived Adrien Agreste, So much angst, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Where Is Ladybug?, it's too quiet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:46:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,039</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23672596</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Edenss/pseuds/Edenss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sleep is a luxury Adrien cannot afford. Not when he hasn't seen her all day. Not when the feeling in his gut was eating him alive.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir &amp; Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir &amp; Plagg, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug &amp; Tikki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. part 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is very heavy and angsty. btw I am new to the fandom so please be kind and leave comments for improvement. let me know if you want more parts or a part from marinette's pov. ALSO listen to alicks - don't let me fall asleep, it adds to the angst :(</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adrien tossed and turned in bed, his body had felt heavy and sleep was hard to come by after the day’s events.</p><p>He cracked his eyes open, the dim moonlight illuminating his bedroom. Plagg rested on the nightstand beside Adrien’s bed, far too deep in his slumber to take notice of the thoughts which had plagued Adrien’s mind, robbing him of much needed sleep.</p><p>
  <em>Sleep.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How could he sleep when he hadn’t heard from her all day?</em>
</p><p>It wasn’t normal. Usually when a bad guy was on the scene in Paris, Ladybug would always appear. Sure, sometimes she was late but so was he. They had lives and those would often get in the way. But regardless, she would always turn up.</p><p>And yet something had changed.</p><p>Cat Noir had fought tooth and nail today to ensure the streets weren’t turned completely upside down. Alone, he was able to keep the three-headed caterpillar like monster at bay, but without his lady there was only so much he could do.</p><p>His eyes drifted to the newspaper cutout pinned to his board. In the dim light he could just about make out the bold black words - <em>“the unstoppable Ladybug and Cat Noir save the day again!”</em></p><p>A small smile graced his lips as he reminisced over the memory. Seeing Ladybug in action left him in awe at her sheer bravery combined with her intelligence and wits. The way she would always have a comeback to his silly puns, the way she would put up with his playful flirtation, the way she would always be by his side within seconds if he was hurt.</p><p>The uneasy feeling in his gut only seemed to worsen with each thought that charged through his mind.</p><p>Pushing the covers back, Adrien steadily climbed out of bed, cautious not to wake Plagg. He treaded towards his giant-sized window which oversaw the bustling streets of Paris. Except now they were calm, unlike the beating heart of Adrien Agreste.</p><p>He placed a hand on the cool glass, providing some relief for his now rising temperature. Maybe if he stared out the window long enough he would spot Ladybug jumping from roof to roof as she swung her magical yo-yo around each building.</p><p>And yet he was met with nothing. The skies were quiet just like the roads.</p><p>A muffled vibration abruptly pulled Adrien away from his thoughts. He glanced over to the location of the noise.</p><p>With a clenched fist, Adrien shuffled over to his coffee table situated in the middle of the vast space. He sat down on the couch and reached over to one of the concealed compartments.</p><p>Pulling it open, he took out the phone and tapped the screen, trying and failing to keep his desperation at bay.</p><p>This phone only had one number saved.</p><p>Adrien squinted his eyes as he read the time, it read 3:56am, before scanning over the message on his home screen.</p><p>
  <em>Are you awake? — LB</em>
</p><p>Adrien was quick to type his reply.</p><p>
  <em>Cats are nocturnal creatures, My Lady</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Is everything alright?</em>
</p><p>Adrien bit his lip in anticipation. It was not normal for Ladybug to message him so late into the night. Coupled with the fact that she was nowhere to be seen that day it did not spell good news.</p><p>His phone had started vibrating in his hand and Adrien had looked down to see an incoming call from Ladybug herself.</p><p>Eagerly, he swiped across the screen and bought the cell up to his ear.</p><p>“My lady?” Adrien spoke quietly into the phone.</p><p>“Cat Noir,” she breathed out, “it’s good to hear your voice.”</p><p>“M’lady are you okay?” Inquired Adrien. He couldn’t make out any noise on her end of the line. It was quiet. Too quiet.</p><p>“Everything is too...” she whispered, “silent.”</p><p>“Ladybug?” Adrien screamed across the phone. Beads of sweat rolled down the side of his head.</p><p>Adrien hadn’t realised Plagg had awoken from his sleep and was now in front of Adrien, eyes wide and hovering a little too still.</p><p>“Goodbye, Cat.”</p><p>The line went dead before Adrien could protest and the dread that followed almost shattered him.</p><p>—</p><p>He did not sleep at all that night.</p><p>The next day, Paris was chaos. Akumas were spreading beyond control.</p><p>—</p><p>A few days later, Ladybug was declared missing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Emotions were a luxury Marinette could not afford. All that remained was a deep, hollow darkness.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>here is part 2!! quick warning as there is mentions of blood, violence, suicidal thoughts, self hatred. this part is slightly longer. also plsss listen to alicks - don't let me fall asleep whilst reading, you will cry.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Marinette cracked her eyes open. The room was dark except for the sheer light of the moon which was able to creak in through the small window.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her head was throbbing as she leaned against the wall. She tugged at the restraints on her hands for the hundredth time, maybe if she’d miraculously find they were too loose, she’d be granted her chance to escape.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She bought her hands up to her face, lip busted with blood starting to clot at the wound. A fresh bruise was beginning to blossom on her upper cheek, causing Ladybug to wince upon the touch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How did everything go wrong so fast?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How long had she been here? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I failed...” Ladybug muttered sorrowfully. Guilt hanging heavy in her heart. And even... regret?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Regret for all the times she dismissed Cat Noir. Regret for all the times that she didn’t trust him enough. Regret for all the times she dimmed his spark that there would ever be something more between them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All that regret and he was the only thing keeping her sanity in check as she sat isolated and defeated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ladybug reached for the phone she always carried with her in the back pocket of her suit. After Cat Noir had gifted it to her - his way of ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>keeping in touch no matter the circumstances</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ - how could she ever travel without it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Squinting at the time, it read 3:55am. Ladybug had lost count of how many hours she had been here. Not when her head felt too heavy to carry, when her body was screaming at her to give way, when some sort of permanent sleep seemed all the more welcoming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even though her hands were tightly bound together, she could still muster enough flexibility to write a message to the only person who ever really mattered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are you awake?  — LB</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She waited. Waited as if her life depended on it. But any glimmer of hope was slowly dimming. The result of even a few hours in this place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet it seemed luck was on her side in just this matter as a response followed within the minute. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cats are nocturnal creatures, My Lady</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is everything alright?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A light chuckle sounded from her lips which soon doubled into a cough as pain from Ladybug’s possibly broken ribs reverberated through her entire body. It had her seeing black spots in her already blurry vision.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pressing the call button, the dial rang in her ears, each one more tortuous than the other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please pick up. Please-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“M’lady?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Almost able to soothe the aches writhing at every corner of her body. Temporarily silencing the angered voice in her head. Cooling the flush upon her sweaty skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cat Noir,” Ladybug managed to choke out, each word sending signals of pure pain, “it’s good to hear your voice.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“M’lady is everything okay?” She could hear the strain in his voice, willing himself for any indication of where she was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything is too...” a stray tear rolled down her cheek, “silent.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soon she couldn’t fight the current onslaught of tears that streamed down. She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t continue to speak to him, get to hear his voice. Not when she had let him down and the whole of Paris.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ladybug?” Adrien cried. She felt a painful tug at her heart when the playful “m’lady” was replaced with Ladybug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goodbye, Cat.” A choked sob escaped Ladybug’s mouth as she ended the call. The phone slipped from her hand and fell to the floor, the illuminated screen sporting a large crack.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An accurate representation of her heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>New tears mixed with the old as the hours moved on agonisingly slow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At some point, Ladybug had muttered to herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Spots off.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The remnants of Ladybug’s suit had drifted away, any magic that was holding her together before had dissipated and the pain hit her tenfold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Marinette caught Tikki in her hands. Usually, Tikki would be quick to offer words of encouragement or praise after their battles but for the first time, Tikki was out cold.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A slumber where she almost looked at peace.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A slumber which Marinette would give all her remaining, weary strength to be in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anything to escape the self loathing and hatred that plagued her mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With her feet bound tightly together too, Marinette could not even walk over to the light. She didn’t think she even possessed the energy to do so.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clothes dirty, tattered and torn, Marinette tucked Tikki into her pocket. Any remaining body heat would maybe do something to help. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cat Noir is not coming to save you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No one is.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She squeezed her eyes shut as the tears threatened to spill once more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet she was too weak to stop them, just like the voice in her head kept telling her. Too weak to even stop some damn tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eventually she was able to rock herself to sleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She woke up the next day, to her dismay. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t know which was worse: the nightmares which terrorised her sleep or the faint sound of chaos as Paris was being destroyed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few days later, her assailant had come to see her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A shrouded figure whom Marinette knew nothing about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ladybug has been declared missing.” The figure spoke, cold and carefully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As much as she wanted to scream and yell and cry and demand release, her body came up with nothing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They reached down quickly and yanked Marinette by the face. Her once bright, cerulean blue eyes which glimmered with hope and happiness were now dull and lifeless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Marinette Dupain Cheng,” the words bitter on her attackers tongue, “the infamous Ladybug.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Emotions were a luxury Marinette could not afford. All that remained was a deep, hollow darkness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You will be nothing once I am done with you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes, maybe it will be a mercy to be ended once and for all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The abrupt blow to her face shook her entire skull as Marinette collapsed to the floor. Her vision became fuzzy as her mind threatened to black out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Blood was dripping, but too many areas were in pain for her to decipher where from.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re pathetic.” The figure spat on her before retreating out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes, I am.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes fluttered shut, body limp against the concrete floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pain enveloped her into its embrace, its friend darkness waiting not far behind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Bruised, bloody and broken.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>okay so this was meant to be a one shot type thing but i can see it turning into something more? let me know if you want some more!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. part 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He finds his lady only to lose her again.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>okay, thanks for all the kind words. this series is getting longer than expected but i'm having fun. part 4 is already written so let me know if you want it!! listen to bags by clairo. it made me sad while writing this. thanks again!! &lt;33</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kneeling down against some large dumpsters, Cat Noir let out a ragged breath as he regained his thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Paris was a war zone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It had been days after Ladybug was officially declared as missing. When she did not come to help defeat the monsters the authorities had decided that she was gone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The streets were in ruins as buildings were destroyed, shops were looted, people beginning to attack each other on the streets. Debris was scattered around everywhere making it impossible to navigate one’s way around. The city Cat Noir had grown to love was soon becoming his worst nightmare.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After his recent phone call with Ladybug, Cat Noir had felt extremely defeated. Battling alone was a strenuous task which was starting to take its toll on his body.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Claws in.” Cat Noir had croaked out, his throat was extremely parched and he would have killed for even a drop of water.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His suit evaporated away, it was time anyways. He had scratches all over his body, the gash on his lower abdomen had made him a little lightheaded as Adrien placed a hand over it to assess.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Adrien you need to get that checked out.” Plagg begged, the little Kwami was struggling to hold himself together due to depleted energy levels from fighting for days straight.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Face covered in dirt, Adrien pushed himself off the floor and limped to the alleyway exit, eyes scanning the ruins for the best escape without being spotted and attacked.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t Plagg,” groaned Adrien as the pain in his leg shot through him, he placed his hand against the wall for support.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I need to find her...”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>However, Ladybug wasn’t the only one to go missing. Amidst the chaos many missing person’s reports had popped up too, some of his own friends and classmates: Marinette, Nino, Alya, Max and many, many others.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Too many to even name.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t know what was killing him more: the fact that he didn’t know if Ladybug was alive or that Paris was utter hell and there was nothing he could do about it except sit back and watch.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After Ladybug there was only one other person who had the slightest chance of putting things right in Paris.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So alas, Adrien began his mission.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Get to Master Fu in one piece.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Night had fallen by the time Adrien had made it across town to Master Fu’s place. By staying in his civilian attire Adrien was able to travel without a target on his back and provide Plagg with some much needed time to recharge.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The injuries on his body made it hard to even move a muscle but he pulled himself through with gritted teeth and clenched fists.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He managed to stumble through a broken window, movements much more sluggish than usual. Adrien crashed into the wooden floor and let out a groan.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The house was abandoned, another place raided by thugs. His heart sunk a little deeper as fear crept against his skin. A defenceless Master Fu flashed in his mind with bandits circling around him waiting to strike.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head, the image quickly vanishing, and climbed up surveying the place for any indication of his master’s location.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before he could take another step forward a sword swiftly appeared in one quick movement and lodged itself at the base of Adrien’s throat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He froze in his place and moved his eyes, only to be met with a short, aged man staring straight into his soul.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They didn’t need to say much, the message was conveyed from eye contact alone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s gone.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He lowered the sword, “I know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Uttering the words alone was as if a dam had erupted within him. A chasm of grief unleashing itself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He fell on to his knees, a tear rolling down his cheek simultaneously. Plagg brushed against his cheek for comfort yet the pain did not subside.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A firm hand was placed on Adrien’s shoulder, “we will find her, Adrien.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A few tears still welled in his eyes as he turned to stare at Master Fu.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Follow me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Master Fu had led him down a staircase that was concealed into the basement of his home. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Silently following him down the stairs, the loud chaos became more and more muffled as they walked deeper and deeper into Master Fu’s secret confines. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They reached a clearing. A large round room with all the different miraculouses engraved intricately on the stone floor, forming a vast circle.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But it was what sat in the middle that gave Adrien the smallest shred of hope.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Both the Cat and Ladybug miraculous were engraved in a smaller circle inside of the larger one, both opposite each other. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Adrien looked towards Master Fu, who stared at him quietly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Only you, Adrien can save Ladybug,” he spoke softly, “for without Cat Noir there is no Ladybug.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The connection between these two miraculouses is one which I have never seen before.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Adrien eyed the ring on his finger.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You must use your bond to find her,” Master Fu continued, “you will feel it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Master Fu gestured towards the engraving of the Cat miraculous with his hand. Adrien took it as his cue and walked over to it before standing directly above it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With an encouraging nod from Master Fu, Adrien spoke out. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Plagg, claws out.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With those words, the whole circle illuminated, almost as if the powers from each miraculous was flowing through his very veins.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He sat down and closed his eyes, willing himself to use all the power he possessed to figure out where she was. He placed a hand on the Ladybug marking opposite him and felt its essence travelling through him as he focused harder.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everything was starting to grow silent, as all the memories they shared played over and over in his mind, he was reliving every single second, listening to the sweet words of his lady as they idly flirted and took down bad guys whilst doing so.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t help the smile that graced his face as more memories plummeted through him, Cat Noir was starting to feel a warmth growing in the hollow confines of his chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With all the good memories came the bad too, yet Cat Noir braved himself against them. Master Fu watched eagerly, and he had to refrain himself. Was Cat Noir to fail then there was no telling if Ladybug would even survive.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Soon, Cat Noir felt a tingling on his skin as the memories were starting to become more and more recent. The power he possessed now was enough to aid his quest to find her and maybe even restore order to- </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And that’s when he felt it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A tug in his chest. A tug so gentle he almost missed it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Until it became more urgent. Until it slowly began to grow in strength. Until one tug turned into two and two became three, until the tug had formed into an insistent and burning pull.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Something was pulling him, beckoning him to a place that was far and desolate. A place where the aura was so bleak and dark that he could feel it dampening his new found hope. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>An image flashed in his mind.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Almost as if the memories of someone else was beginning to leak into his own head causing some sort of bleeding effect.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He saw hands and feet tightly bound together. The way blood had dried and turned a deep red. It was a stark contrast against the bright crimson of her suit. Or what was left of it. Tears in all places, revealing bruised skin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Moreover, he could feel it all too. As if the very injuries were on his own body. And for a moment he could hear the voices in his head too, taunting him, pointing out every single failure. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They were the same voices she was hearing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He heard her own voices too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A quiet, defeated one. Instructing, begging, pleading with her to end it all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before it all stopped.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everything had gone silent again and Cat Noir was back in the basement with Master Fu, who was staring at him with anticipation, waiting for him to share it all. The engravings of the miraculouses had stopped glowing and suddenly everything was dark again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A choked sob escaped from Cat Noir as he clutched his head in his hands.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re too late.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>also btw im currently on the beginning of s2 for miraculous so im not sure how the miraculous all work exactly so forgive me if this seems very inaccurate. i didnt know how else to make it work :(</p>
<p>ready for part 4? you will cry.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. part 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The other side was very dark indeed.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this part is short, i didn't want to overkill with too much suspense bc i lowkey cant stand it too lol. get those tissues ready.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>How long had it been?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Days? Weeks? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All concept of time was beneath her. All she could will herself to see was the end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When the pain would end. When the guilt would cease. When the regret would disappear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Defender of Paris? More like it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>destructor</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With each visit from her assailant, Ladybug soon wondered if there would be much left to her in a few days' time except for a rotting corpse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blood was never ending, she couldn’t tell the difference between it and her suit at some points. The purple bruises blended well with the healing yellow. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe the inner designer in her would take some sick inspiration from this endeavour. Should she survive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But most of her wished she didn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her holder had given her the liberty of unbinding her hands, any sane person would have used the opportunity to fight their way to freedom and all she did was watch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The voice in her head was able to convince her to stay and rot in that cell, an option which was plausible since she had no remaining might to try and win this one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ladybug lay sprawled out on the ground, dozing in and out of consciousness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s when she felt it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A slight push in her mind. Like someone was trying to shove their way in. The walls around her mind were slowly breaking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She carelessly granted access, refraining from doing anything to prevent it. Every part of her was damaged now, they could have her mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her heart and soul would soon follow close behind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But before she could ponder any further, an image began bleeding into her conscience.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A dark stone room, similar to the one she was being held in yet so much bigger and filled with more... love?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could see glowing, engravings on the floor from the corner of her eye. Strange shapes. She was in the body of a person, dressed tightly in black.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cat Noir?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And as quick as it came, it vanished. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Leaving Ladybug to wonder if this is how it was when the end was near.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dreams? Nightmares? They were all the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When happy memories began to merge with sad ones and those she loved would turn into those she hated. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her grip on the world was failing and the voice in her head was winning. There was nothing left for her anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could see it clearly, the peace that was waiting for her on the other end. How thin the line between life and death really was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ladybug let out a breath, one final release, one final offering for this world. It was all she had to give, making her departure all the more bittersweet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She reached for her yo-yo, the wire sturdy and firm in her slender fingers. All those times she could rely on it to save the day, she was sure it wouldn’t let her down in this final deed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ladybug looped the cord around her neck. Her heart was racing against her ribs. The decision was final.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Too engrossed to realise the door had swung open. The dark figure clad in black strode over in a few steps.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was sure she heard the jingle of a bell.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A painful grip on her wrist stopped her from going any further.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not just yet, m’lady.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The voice was rough, hoarse. The sight he witnessed shook him to his very core.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He bundled her up into his strong arms, but it was too much and too fast.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stay with me, Ladybug,” he begged through gritted teeth, “just a little while-“</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her eyes fluttered shut.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yes, the other side was very dark indeed.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>part 5 might take a while, im lacking ideas. share your thoughts and i might draw some inspo from them!! thanks so much for the lovely comments. &lt;33</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. part 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He finally has his Lady back but they’re not quite out of the storm yet.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>omg i am SO SORRY for the wait gahhh i got so unmotivated and busy with online school :(( also shdkajdkw i still haven’t finished season 3 yet so please idk how the guardian and miraculous stuff work that much im still learning!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Her unconscious body was atop the bed in Master Fu’s house. Her suit was still on as she had yet to wake up and transform back.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cat Noir sat by her bedside, one hand wrapped tightly around hers. They had managed to tend to her wounds and administer some sort of pain killer to ease the hurt.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Please,” Cat Noir whispered, “if you can hear me...”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The black eye was slowly beginning to heal, along with some of the other wounds, but the same couldn’t be said for her mind.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was a mission alone holding himself together, he knew he had to stay strong for when Ladybug awoke. But the thought that if he had been a few minutes late he probably wouldn’t have gotten her back at all.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Two days had passed since he had rescued her from the tower on the edge of town. Upon arriving, he did not see anyone or anything which could give him the slightest clue as to who her captor was. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t bring himself to tell Master Fu what he saw Ladybug trying to do.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Getting out of his chair, Cat Noir let out a sigh before approaching Master Fu, who was occupied preparing some different herbal medicines to treat Ladybug with.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think she’ll make it?” He asked tentatively, interrupting his Master from his task.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She has to,” he replied sadly, almost as if he knew of the fateful decision she had made in that very cell.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cat Noir couldn’t help but glance back at her resting body. Couldn’t help but notice how at peace she looked, maybe this was the peace she was so desperate to achieve through death.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“She is a strong girl beneath that mask,” he muttered. “I only hope that she remains so.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cat Noir couldn’t help but say a silent prayer. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yes, she was safe now and Cat Noir would give his life before he would let anything else harm her anymore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But it seemed the greater challenges resided in the dark corners of her mind.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>More days had passed and Ladybug had still remained unresponsive. She was alive and breathing, but to what extent was the question.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As much as he wanted to stay by her side, he was Paris’ only remaining defence. The streets were abandoned except for monsters and inhumane beings wandering the streets looking for its next victim.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He was no fool, he knew he was fighting a losing battle but that didn’t matter. He just had to buy some time for her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All she had to do was wake up and restore order through her charm. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But deep within his mind he knew it would not be so simple.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cat Noir was on his way back to Master Fu’s place, his mind a mess.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Clambering into the house that was ruins, he immediately rushed over to the bed Ladybug was resting on, only to find Master Fu hunched over the side and gripping her down.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He rushed over, a frantic Ladybug was thrashing under his hands. With widened eyes and a halted breath Cat Noir ran over to help.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened?” He shouted over her screams, Master Fu looked terrified.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know! One minute she was asleep and then she started screaming!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes were still shut tightly and he took the opportunity to grip her tightly by the shoulders, “Ladybug, please wake up!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After a few more seconds of screaming as Cat Noir vigorously shook her by the shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was then she let out a gasp and her eyes flew straight open.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cat Noir was the first person she saw.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And she felt nothing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ladybug couldn’t comprehend the empty, hollow feeling that resided in her chest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The nightmares that harassed her whilst she was out cold were enough to bring her to consciousness, yet the land of the living was no better in her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She could feel the swell on her right eye as her vision was a little blurry through it, but staring straight at her was Cat Noir and concern was swimming in his own. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The boy she was so accustomed to going on daily patrols with, the boy whom she harboured deep feelings for which accumulated over the years. One glance at him usually had sparks ebbing in all corners of her body.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yet this time, she felt not a single thing except for the void that was consuming her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes drifted to Master Fu and she wasn’t mistaken in seeing fear in his eyes, a mutual sense passed between them. This wasn’t something they could ever come back from.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cat Noir took a step back allowing some space for Ladybug.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She sat up on the bed, dragging her legs over the side. Gripping the sheets in her hands in clusters, she hung her head in shame, hatred and fatigue.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With every passing second Cat Noir grew more apprehensive at his lady’s lack of words and emotion.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, but...” Ladybug finally croaked, her voice hoarse, “I can’t do this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She slowly turned her bowed head towards Master Fu and panic flashed in his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Ladybug!” He shouted as he inched his small body closer to her. “You risk tipping the balance by doing this!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cat Noir watched silently and incredulously, unable to decipher what the two were talking about. Yet an instinct inside of him was preparing for the worst.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ladybug couldn’t look either of them in the eye when she muttered her next words.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Find a new Ladybug.” Her voice stern. “Because I’m done.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She pushed her body to her feet and closed her eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Spots off.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Cat Noir couldn’t believe the girl he was staring at before him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Marinette</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” He breathed out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Her stare was deep set and cold, a stark contrast from the pair that was always teeming with life and love.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He felt his heart stop in his chest as memories flooded through him as he and Ladybug battled together, only to realise that she was Marinette all along. The girl who had a crush on him. His classmate.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yet what saddened him even more was the fact that he had pictured their identity reveal many times. Thousands of scenarios all with so many different outcomes. And this one? It was never on the list.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Just when he got her back, he was already losing her again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before Cat Noir could even utter any more words she had taken off her earrings and placed them on the bed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Master Fu’s eyes darted between the pair before he reached out to a limping Marinette who was already heading for the door.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Marinette! Wait, please let us talk about this.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As much as he wanted to grab her and hold her close, to comfort her and promise her everything would be alright. That he saw her and loved her regardless. That they could brave the storm together, </span>
  <em>
    <span>because they had each other</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t do it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His feet were glued to the floor and the lump in his throat only grew larger.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The emotions of the past few days did not even come close to how he was feeling now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He stared sadly at her back as she spoke quietly to Master Fu. “I can’t help you. Not anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Marinette staggered to the door, hand hovering above the knob before she paused. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do not follow me.” Her words laced with desperation. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>With that she was gone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leaving Cat Noir to wonder if they had truly lost this war.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>soooo the identity reveal was kinda anti climatic i know but this focuses more on emotions rather than actual idk technical stuff? and im guessing there may be a few more parts before i wrap this up? as always let me know your thoughts i love reading em &lt;33</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sooooo are you scared? sad? pls leave comments, i'd love to hear your thoughts!!</p>
<p>also this is inspired by these artworks!<br/>https://www.instagram.com/p/B9pfI6SFtck/<br/>https://www.instagram.com/p/BygI9PUIP3H/</p>
<p>my instagram:<br/>https://www.instagram.com/c.lassicaly/?hl=en<br/>my tumblr:<br/>https://c-lassicaly.tumblr.com/</p></blockquote></div></div>
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